I'm not one for sitting in the sun on the beach, but if I had to go, I would want it to look something like this.
First the swimsuit. Sure, I could look for some skimpy little skeleton suits, but that's not really me. I'd prefer something more like this.
However, at $2,800 that's probably a little out of my price range. It would probably look more like this at $110 :
Of course I would need someway to hide from the sun. Why must it glare at me like that? This tent gives me just enough room for myself and a good book.
If I decide to be a bit more social, I suppose I could use this beach parasol.
Then again, I may not be able to find a strong young man to carry my necessities so I'd settle for this lovely chapeau to keep out the sun with a veil to keep out those nasty sand flies. Check out those black cherries!
When I'm ready for a little exercise I'd kick this around. Nothing says I don't play fair like a 36" solid black beach ball. (note: blond girl will definitely not want to be on my team)
Sinister beach towels are available by the dozens at cafepress.com Here are two I like:
Finally, to truly keep everyone away, you need a good book. I haven't read this yet, but I think it will be going on my summer reading list; Twilight by William Gay. Yes, this is the good Twilight. We won't talk about that other one.
Goodreads provides this synopsis:
A Southern gothic novel about an undertaker who won't let the dead rest.
Suspecting that something is amiss with their father's burial, teenager Kenneth Tyler and his sister Corrie venture to his gravesite and make a horrific discovery: their father, a whiskey bootlegger, was not actually buried in the casket they bought for him. Worse, they learn that the undertaker, Fenton Breece, has been grotesquely manipulating the dead.
Armed with incriminating photographs, Tyler becomes obsessed with bringing the perverse undertaker to justice. But first, he must outrun Granville Sutter, a local strongman and convicted murderer hired by Fenton to destroy the evidence. What follows is an adventure through the Harrikin, an eerie backwoods filled with tangled roads, rusted machinery, and eccentric squatters-old men, witches, and families among them-who both shield and imperil Tyler as he runs for safety.
I think I might even want to go to the beach now. Imagine that.
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